The weekend of April 18-20 was packed with stuff.

on the 18 i went to grad night. It was an interesting ride all the way there.

i was sort of uncomfortable cause i had to wear nice clothes.

On the way there , i mostly slept and looked at the amazing africa book.

It was a book just with pictures of ‘ my people ‘ =D.

i really enjoyed staring at the dark skins…….

Our group consisted of me, isamary, melissa, aida and her boyfriend christian. Some

funny things are worth noting.Like SAray, had a MASSIVE purse from Cadillac. It would pinch

my butt every time i sat on its ‘trademark seal’ thingy if i was not careful.

Also, we had a slight problem with the sun. I LOVE the sun. but my dear friends do not.

so we were sorta constantly debating how low

to place the bus blinds since they wanted to sleep and i wanted to get warm.

I am tall. Saray is an inch taller than me i think. i am like 5′7 and she is 5′8. idk.

either way, our giraffe selfs were stuck in fetal position for about the whole way there.

or me and saray would take turns stretching our legs on each other. Mel and Isa did not think

we would suffer much. but…. they thought wrong. LOL.

so finally we arrived!

From the second i walked in i was supppperr stoked! the Jabbawokees were going to be

playing a couple of their dances from MTV and i got to record one!

WE rode space mountain and went thru all the baby rides as well. Looking at all the expensive

stuff we would never get. lol.

At around Midnight , mel and saray got drunk. On nothing.

They are both good singers, but they started with Cruella Devil and the Little Mermaid songs

from beggining to end. This was all waiting in the line of the ride

the Haunted Mansion. i was super embarrased (in a fun way ). I just kept saying,

“We’re gonna get SHOT.” : )

The night was magical (not becuase it was disney) but because i got to spend time with

my senior buddies and just enjoy ourselves…i admittedly started crying near the end by

myself cause i was so sad it was

all ending. My senior year and friends.. this whole new chapter of College was now

coming and i dont feel ready — at ALL.

This is where God is teaching me to put my hands on the plow and not look back.

to be thinking of Him only.

No one threw Donald Duck into the lake. and no one got shot by the end of the night.

I’ll remember that special , sentimental fun forever.

Our Class Rings (Melissa, Abby, Saray)

=D

NOW…. The next day ( on sat. ) me , ally , mel, and esther baby sat the abella kids!!! It was soo wonderful ! i had a blast and it was such an honor to take care of them. WE made popcorn and had a lot of funny moments.

1. Benjamin is learning to potty train. on one of his trips to the bathroom he would get the mini toilet training seat, and place it on top of the actual one ( so his butt can fit). IT also adorned a pipi cup so that when little boys pee, it wouldnt go outside the toilet. to say the least , he peed so hard on one of his trips that the cup FLEW into the toilet. it was such a spectacle! We were all in the bathroom giggling at him and trying to help him out of the seat in a safe and clean way.

2. Vicky was telling me about how excited she was to see the second movie of the Chronicles of Narnia. and then she looks a little troubled and tells me. “but guess what abby? …” i said what happened. she goes, ” They made Prince Caspian a HISPANIC.” at the word ‘HISPANIC’ she puts one hand on her hip and tilts her head and rolls her eyes super emphatically. I almost wet myself.

3. I was washing dishes right? Ben was sitting next at the table and then he spoke. “Abby you do dishizz?” “yes , ben . i am doing the dishes.” “Abby, dishizz?” “yup. yes i am.” he looks down at his drawing, sits his knees and goes: “Abby, you do dishizz…” To save space here i will just say he probaly said it about 7 or 8 times total. I love my boyfriend.

4. We were all sitting watching the TV. we were sorta watching narnia, sorta talking. Emily was explaining to me what furnitures to move and where for hide and go seek or something. so then she goes…” just dont touch the wall unit.” I look at her and go, “whats the wall unit?”

“that, abby. where the Tv is. what do you call it? ” Abby says: “i call it Where the TV is.” i was laughing ( not at her) but

at how cool the intelligent mind is of a kid that is taught properly at home…. melissa, nor esther nor ally by the way ever

called the furniture that held the TV a wall unit either…. my super classy emily !

5. While it was still dark, we were watching the movie. and i was making popcorn. not two minutes into the movie i hear ally saying,

“Benjamin, give me a popcorn.” He didnt look at her. and just shoved the plate closer to him. Ally tryed to grab one and he

only allowed it cause she was quick. And he missed her hand. Since that point he nearly ate 2 bowls of popcorn by himself.

MInd you , he farted unashamedly next to my sister as well.

By the time they came home, it was a lot more laughing retelling all the stories of the pillow fights, and looking at Nira and Jose’s

album of when they dated. I love the Abella’s Period. HEre are some pics of my babies..

i have been wanting to be in Africa. These make my heart melt.

THIS IS THE BEST ONE

First things first.

Strawberry Kiwi is the best Juice ever. There are no perservatives, additives, coloring… NOTHING.

i can eat a 10 pack in 2 days. easily….

Also i got my Drivers License! ON April 3, Abby is officially legal on the road and a couple days after like on the 7th, I had my first all nighter. I was working on a research paper.

here are some pics of what has happened recentlY:

Senior Break Fast

MY Weekend with Pricii

AT the Fair

OKananka, i am done.

this convicted me immensly. something that i think every true believer should know and realize as reality.

when living life here on earth, and working among people who might or might not know God intimatly… there is NEVER and ‘us’ or ‘them’. i dont think people stress this enough. i mean when we tell people we are just like them, do we really belive that we are both hopeless and that God didnt see anything worth dying for in us?

Jesus does not just ‘work’ for us. As if he were some accessory that seems to be accordance with our lives. He is our life. we are called to be His people , made for God and by God so that He really is the only way. we know we are loving both God and people when the people who arent Christians are calling us true friends.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God, and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for GOD IS LOVE…..beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

1 John 4: 7-8, 11 (emphasis added)

almost as if i were warming up– i start with pink for the beginning of spring break. i slept over Prici’s house. We saw Catch me if you can and the finale of America’s best dance crew. the jabbawokees won. : P

i had a blast relaxing and laughing with funny, funny priscilla.. i felt like i was detoxing from the stress school had poisoned me with. This was thursday and friday. on saturday i left.

In the span of a couple days, i had gone to the fair twice. One day to see shows the other to ride. the second day, i vomited and felted like a 92 year old. i had always ridden any type of ride at the fair and this year it seemed like i couldnt stomach anything. I also went to the park and shared a super duppperrr expensive pizza with my besties. Elias, ester, joshua, ally and my brother.

we rode the six person bike. and i pee’d myself. it was that funny! we were racing so that in only an hour we could go all over tropical park! i loved it! we had to pedal hard but not too fast because i had flip flops and angelo behind me would pedal at a much higher speed and could have cut off my ankles if i wasnt paying attention. which i did–a lot. everytime i looked down , and i was driving,l i would not see where i was going and we nearly crashed several times.

that day was utterly memorable. i wont ever forget it.

Spiritually speaking, i feel as if see now a whole other side of God. God’s justice and mercy seem to be something that makes my heart swell with appreciation thanks to his virtue and glory.  so i had always learned the pretty gospel, still knowing how bad it was on the cross–yet after listening to a sermon by Paul Washer on iTunes (you guys have to listen to it. its the only one up so far) i understood that yes, i am saved. but not just from hell. but from God’s wrath. When my Jesus said, it was finished, it was because he drank and took in every last drop from Gods cup so that it really was finished.

Jesus became the curse i was to be. Jesus who cried out to His dad when He needed Him most, and had His own Father look away. My Jesus, the most ultimate Warrior.  This truth set me free from letting any petty sin reign and shame the hope in me.  i am pink because of it.

What i have been dealing with lately are thoughts about people who exude Love from God. and those that just show Christianity. The thing is, i love it when people who claim Christs resurrection in their hearts live their lives by letting the supernatural have ‘its’ way. i see it sorta like… maybe not boasting but perhaps a forced part in some Christians are when they try and make the supernatural natural. Some examples could be an over exaggerated ‘Christian’ myspace for one. Whenever you have a conversation they always try and relate it to something biblical as if it were super easy to carry your cross. These people are concerned with personal holiness. With how they eat, walk,dress, talk and act.

i know with the way i am typing it is sounding as if i am judging everyone. i truly have been thinking about how to put it but i cant find the right way. But people notice and stay attentive more to those who let Love shine through them so that they are REAL people. Where the truth is so much a part of them that it is MORE THAN EVIDENT that they are set apart than if you were to tell everyone, ” i am a Christian.”

really, Jesus more showed than said, ” i am Jesus.” there were actually times where he didn’t want his disciples to say who he was to the surrounding people. But they all knew this messiah not by looks, or by the WWJD bracelet, or by all the Christian songs on his I pod–but by His Love. These people, who go through life and are battered by whatever comes, glorify God before the ‘dark times’ come, and even more so during.

We do not have to prove ourself s to anyone. Maybe that is how those types of Christians come off to me. I don’t know. Again, i don’t mean to say they are wrong, but there is a difference. Those who aren’t so conscious of how their holiness comes off to others, might not be super knowledgeable of the bible, go to seminary or w.e. They take the ordinary, simple life– and turn it into pieces of glory work.

I feel like i can move on with God now that i have settled this in my heart. that i am more of value to God, than i am of use. That i am His Beloved.

This all makes me think of the color fuschia.

i feel canary yellow because…

1.

School, is taking over my life. i am very frustrated and i wanted to post this because i never wanted to forget that from March 10-21 of 2008 i have been the most stressed in my ENTIRE life.

2.

ONA! and i cant forget Prici!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I havent met with her for 2 weeks! usually, i hang with her fridays……but lately i havent been able to. I love meeting with her. she makes my soul feel good. like for real. she is soo funny and caring. he he he. maybe this week we will have frankie’s pizza!!!!!

3.

i got my cell taken away cuz i was texting. my teacher says he has the right to detain it from us until he chooses to give it back. i hope its by tommorow (thursday). i feel bad though with how dependent on a phone i have become, i really cant communicate with no one without it.

This is why i feel canary yellow.

This is another funny thing my tutor-ee said that i dont wanna forget because it soo funnnnyyyy.

 1. ” Abby i know what i wanna be when i grow up”

Abby: What?

Umei: A neonadulalalalalalogist.

Abby: Neo……..

Umei: Neonadulalalalalalogist.

Abby: like for babies?

Umei: Yeah.

(later on)

Abby: dont make fun of her for not spelling a word. i bet you cant spell neonadulalalallalaogist.

Umei: yes i can. watch:

                         N E O N A T A L D I A N A _ _ _ O L O G I S T

i  promise that is what she wrote. and the gaps are for three random letters that i dont even know how she sounded them out to be there.

2.  Umei had just finished telling me a deep secret. She saw my wide eyes and she is like:

Umei: But hey dont tell her ok? like, keep it Down on the low alright?

Abby: Alright.

I tutor a girl Mondays and Tuesdays in Pre-Algebra. She skipped a grade (is now in 5th) and this curriculum is still advanced for her age. This girl is smart in her head, and mouth. I have learned to love her for it…
On the 3rd or 4th of March, we were walking to CP were i do the lessons with her. And we had a conversation that tore my heart out and kept me searching it for the rest of the day… I am going to call this girl Umei for privacy purposes.. LOL.

Umei: Hey Abby, guess what?

Abby: What?

Umei: I asked my friend, her name is Ale, a realllllllly hard question today.

Abby: Oh, yeah? What is it?

Umei: Well, i asked her if we were ever in trouble if she would ever give her life up to save me. Like, her die instead of me.

Abby: Woah. That is a huge question to ask of your friend.

Umei: So yeah, Ale stood there thinking about it and then said, “yeah, Umei i think i would give up my life for you.” and then i said, ” COOL! i was thinking the same thing, i would do the same for you!”

Abby: (still amazed at the deepness of this question) Thats a real touph question though Umei. Your friend must care about you a lot……(i went on about how serious it was and trying to explain its profoundness to a nine year old)

Umei: Abbbbyyyyyyyyyy, dont you get it? It works out. You see, if i save her life, and she saves mine, [these were her exact words] then it cancels out! So in the end, we both survive and nobody has to die! Its really cool…………

I really didnt have much to say after that.

Yesterday March 7, 2008 was the 1,705 year anniversary of one of my most admired martyrs. It is like my favorite day of the year (as well as March 17). That day Perpetua Vivia and Saturus died in a Roman amphitheater. Her husband, Saturus, prayed to die by one bite of an animal. He was “well washed, well washed” in his own blood by one bite of a cheetah on his neck. Perpetua and Felicitas were thrown around by a bull. First Perpetua, she flew back and with a large gash in her leg where the horn struck her, she stood up. Then covered her leg in modesty–and picked up her hair, for it was improper for a martyr to have her hair down as if mourning.

Before that Perpetua had to face her father and say, “My father breaks his duty to the only true God, and thus to me as well.” Perpetua’s best friend had moved away a little before she died. Her father still didn’t see grace, and thought her foolish. I forgot to mention that Perpetua had just given birth to a baby. Barely a couple of months old, still feeding on her breasts even while she was in jail. Yet, even still, when the proconsul asked for her and the Christians she had grown to share life with, to deny Christ–she could not. How could she?

I mean, if the proconsul (like judges in our day) knew what they were asking, it would be termed audacious. They wanted Tua and the small Body with her, to unsay what they affirmed in heart, mind, soul, and strength. The book i got this from is fiction, however based on the last written pages of Perpetua in jail. It says that she couldn’t feel her feet on the floor as she walked in before the proconsul, she was giddy. Giddy to die? No. Giddy to be nearer to her Lord. Whether that is actually how she felt or not i don’t know, but i wouldn’t doubt that it was. My heart intertwines with the sacrifice of those that came before me. That cried out to Him in the midst of unspeakable tortures.

Why is it that i feel so strongly towards all those who gave up their lives for our One? In all sincerity, i do not know why God would be choose me ( if He were to) to die for Him. I know it would not be because i am ‘fearless’ or because i can deal with pain well, or that i am strong and have great endurance physically. If anything, it is just the opposite. How much more glorious the shine of my King through a weakling like me if i were to ever have to commend my spirit to His? Reading all these stories, i really want someone to ask me. I actually dare them to. what an honor! to be able to give my body up in Love and NOTHING else. I see it as the most amazing manifestation possible ( if the Christian persecuted lived a life of Love) of the Reality of Love and the Holiest Simplicity of true life. Everlasting life. Like some climatic point that never really, drops.

My heart itself feels faint at the thought of an opportunity like that. Which is why i am ashamed whenever my prayers only consist of me, myself and my problems. Or why, instead of seeing a movie, watching TV or any other activity i do to fill up time, i have to constantly remind myself Who is my portion. So that even if i didnt have my bible, it would be so in me, i can read it in my heart. If i had truly sold all of me and my old self and everything i thought was dear ( now seen as manure) for that One Pearl, this world should make me fling myself on my face before the cross. I should see the emptiness, the people walking around blind. My friends at school, rubbing their eyes to take off the scales and in their frustration giving themselves up to their sin.

My life will not ever be spent to die a martyr. It will be spent loving the Christ and overflowing that same love towards others. That death, that end, is only the reward. The prize, those of us who feel that desire to be met, that we have run for out whole lives. Hopefully, that glorious day will come where i am given the chance to deny my Lord, only to reply, that nothing as real as True Love can never, ever, be unsaid.